Struggling with Anxiety?

What causes you anxiety? Truth be told, this newsletter causes me anxiety.

This newsletter is my main way (in addition to my Instagram) of reaching out to my clients. You might not know it, but - I took a 5-month break from writing this newsletter last year. Sadly it wasn’t a break. For 5 months I had it on my to-do list.  But I avoided this newsletter because of my anxiety and thought of it every day.  Why did I take a 5-month break from it last year?

Because I had anxiety over it.  With my clients, it is important to get to the root of what is causing the issue. So I did some digging and found the root issue for my newsletter anxiety.  On the surface is a fear of being judged, but the deep issue is growing up with undiagnosed ADHD.  I didn’t match my potential in class and that rears its head when I write anything. So, my work on the underlying fear got me to write more often.

Then I worked on my underlying issues, and I started writing again.  This is my 3rd in a row monthly newsletter.

I am sure this holds true in your life in a way, so how can you move through anxiety?

You probably have heard the tips, and I have shared some over the years:

• Focusing on your breathing

• Meditation

• Making a list of what you are grateful for

• Doing something relaxing

• Working out

And the list could go on.  These individually are actually pretty effective – but when they are not, what can help?

That is when it’s time to get to the underlying cause.

Some of my favorites in healing the root causes of anxiety are hypnosis, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and Reiki or other types of energy healing. 

I would say about 50 percent of my sessions involve sending to some sort of alternative practitioner like one of these – so if you know how you want to heal your anxiety and are looking for someone to help in those areas drop me an email with what type of practitioner you want to find.  If you don’t know what type might work for you, you might consider setting up an appointment with me or another medical intuitive for guidance. 

Words Have Power

We hear this all the time.  “Words matter.” “Words are important.”  Most of us carefully choose our words in texts, email and when we are in person talking to others.  We are usually not as careful in the words that swirl in our own heads.

We beat ourselves up with words like:

• I can’t believe you did that

• You are a terrible mother

• You messed that up

• You can never do that.

We would NEVER say that to others, but that is exactly what we say to ourselves. Our inner mean guy (I call it an inner meanie!) can be pretty terrible.   I wish I had a magic wand (if someone has one, please let me know!) to magically stop you from beating yourself up. 

You don’t have a magic wand, but you do have some power in this situation.  That inner dialog comes from old conversations with old friends, your parents, your teachers and even your coaches.  Those are the voices that live “rent-free” in your brain. 

So how do you remove them?

In the short term, you don’t remove them.  You become aware of them. Try this next time you recognize that you are beating yourself up.

Imagine that a friend (or you child) has just said what you said to yourself. Reframe the words for your “friend” and say them back to yourself.   Those words tend to change quite a bit.

• From: I can’t believe you did that ➡️To: We all make mistakes.  You will do better next time

• From: You are a terrible mother ➡️To: Think of all the good things you do as a mother

• From: You messed that up➡️To: Oops!  You will do better next time

• From: You can never do that ➡️To: Just try it.  I’ll be there for you.

Over time, just by noticing the words and reframing them, research shows that this will help you feel better.  This technique is actually a part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a technique used by therapists.   

To quiet your inner meanie long term, you can work to heal from the trauma of the parental meanness, or the coach that yelled at you, or the generational or past life trauma that causes you to beat yourself up.  Once you heal from those traumas, your inner voice becomes much nicer 😊

If you need help with this, set up an appt here.  I look forward to you hearing different words from your inner meanie!